Lorraine Heath Read online

  As he dismounted, Rebecca opened her eyes, smiling up at him. “Morning, Jake.”

  Her voice was a soft caress. What a wondrous sound it would be to wake up to each morning.

  Jake tethered his horse to a low-growing bush and walked over. “What you doin’, Reb?” he asked, striving to keep the nervousness out of his voice.

  “Just enjoying the cool of the morning,” she answered. He didn’t need to know she’d just brought up her breakfast and was waiting for her stomach to settle before she got back on her horse.

  Taking off his hat, Jake hunkered down beside her, balancing himself on the balls of his feet. He had the largest, most expressive velvet brown eyes she had ever seen, framed by long thick black lashes. It didn’t seem fair for a man to have such beautiful eyes.

  “Fine herd of horses you brought in. Guess you know which one I want.”

  He smiled at her, a lopsided smile, the right side invariably going up higher than the left. Boyish, a little shy, it was a smile that always warmed her heart.

  “Yes, ma’am, I reckon I do. Took me three days to find that black one. Thought I might try and break him Saturday.”

  She raised a finely arched eyebrow. “Bend him, you mean.”

  “Yes, ma’am. Bend him.”

  He turned his hat in his hands, studying it a minute before looking back at her, stating softly, “Reb, your father told me about your situation.”

  She dropped her head back against the tree, closing her eyes as she released a heavy sigh. “For something he’s so damned ashamed of, he sure isn’t wasting any time letting people know.”

  “I think he’s concerned you’ve convinced yourself the man is gonna come back. Your father thinks he won’t.”

  She opened her eyes, blue meeting brown. “And I suppose you know he’s not coming back?”

  “No, ma’am. I don’t. I do know people can get ugly,say mean things to and about someone in your situation. I know what it’s like to be called a name you weren’t given by your mother when you were born, a name that has nothing to do with anything you could have controlled.”

  His eyes held hers as he took an unsteady breath. “I know I’m not much to look at, but I’m a hard worker. I got some land in Texas. I’ve never seen it, but from what I hear Texas has good ranch land and that’s what I’m hoping for. I figured to work here two more years to get together enough money for a good start, but I’ve got enough saved now so if I decided to go, it wouldn’t be too hard a beginning.” He hesitated, lowering his voice. “I’d be real honored if you’d go with me as my wife.”

  Feeling the sting behind her eyes, she smiled tenderly. “Jake, I’m carrying Brett Meier’s baby.”

  “Figured the baby was his.”

  “And I love him.”

  “Figured that, too. I’d never expect more from you than you were willing to give, and the child would never know he wasn’t mine unless you wanted it that way.”

  “And if I could never willingly give you my love?”

  I’d die, he thought. I’d just curl up and die.

  “I’d hope maybe you could in time … but … if you couldn’t, I’d understand. See, I figured we’d have more of a partnership than a marriage. Not many women in Texas. If a man doesn’t bring a wife, he usually goes a long time before he finds one. I know how to handle the cattle and horses, you know how to handle the books …” He stopped, the remaining reasons irrelevant as he saw the rejection in her eyes. “Anyway, you can just think about it. Offer’ll stay open for a while. If you decide no, you don’t have to say anything. I’ll … I’ll just know.”

  She placed her hand over his. “Thank you, Jake. Thank you for asking and for being such a good friend. And for not condemning.”

  “Nothing to condemn. You love him. Reckon he loves you, too.”

  She smiled. “He had some prospects he had to check on. We didn’t know I was carrying his child when he left. I do think he’ll come back.”

  Jake nodded. “Man would be a fool not to.”

  He stood up, looking out across the land. “Think I might bend that horse today.” He returned his hat to his head, bringing the brim down low. “See ya ‘round, Reb.”

  The morning breeze rustled the leaves above her as she watched him ride away. She’d liked Jake Burnett the first time she’d set eyes on him. He didn’t act the way most of the men who worked the ranch did, strutting their wares and their talents before her. He was quiet and went about his work without stirring up a ruckus, but she noticed him anyway.

  They had spent a great deal of time together the last three years, keeping an eye on her cattle, talking about ranching and different odds and ends, not really revealing much of themselves, but never lacking for something to say.

  He shied away from social gatherings so she had been surprised to see him attend the last barn-raising dance. It had taken him most of the evening to gather the courage to ask her to dance. She had almost decided she was going to have to do the asking, because she was determined to have at least one dance with him. She had watched him approach two young ladies during the evening, one accepting, the other rejecting his offer for a dance. And watching him dance, she had found herself wanting to be the one in his arms.

  He was long gone before the tears started trailing down her cheeks. So far, she hated being pregnant. Throwing up every morning, being tired every afternoon, and crying at the least little thing like a man asking her to marry him. But, Lord, it had been a sweet proposal. Almost worth accepting.

  Chapter Two

  IT OCCURRED TO Rebecca that her pregnancy might not be the only cause for her bouts of nausea in the mornings. The strain, tension, and utter madness that was filling the house she and her father had lovingly shared was more than enough to make her ill.

  All her life, she had ardently confided in the man who now sat at the table ignoring her. He had always been understanding, always been kind, always given good advice. So it had been natural for her to trust him with this latest bit of news. She had realized her mistake when she saw his hand in the air, a second before it made contact with her cheek, slamming her to the floor. She had been surprised his bellowing hadn’t started a stampede. And he hadn’t said one word to her since. Not one damn word. Not good morning. Not how are you feeling. And she hadn’t said one word to him. They took turns glaring at each other. She’d never thought it would be possible to hate him, this house, this ranch, but she did.

  And what if Brett didn’t come back? She’d never doubted his love for her, and had never contemplated a future without him in it. And yet he had left, exacting from her no promises, giving her none in return. How long should she wait for him? How long could she wait before her present circumstance forced her to leave? She thought she’d go insane if she stayed here much longer.

  So what was her alternative? She owned cattle that she had raised and bred. But where could she take them? She no longer cared as long as it was away from here. She thought if Giles looked down his nose at her one more time she’d poke his eyes out. And the little tut-tut noises made with his tongue against his teeth made her want to shriek.

  She shoved her plate out of the way, setting her elbows on the table and her chin on her intertwined fingers. “Jake Burnett asked me to marry him today.”

  Without lifting his eyes from his china plate, her father said, “Good. I told him not to wait too long. I have the marriage ceremony scheduled for a week from Saturday. The Reverend Mitchell will perform the ceremony here at the house.”

  Rebecca felt the hairs on the back of her neck bristle as her eyes narrowed. “I said he asked me. I didn’t say I said yes.”

  Her father laid down his fork and for the first time in three weeks looked her straight in the eye. “He wanted to ask, but regardless of how you feel, your answer is yes. I will not have you give birth to a child out of wedlock. And Burnett is your best choice. He may not be as fancy a man as you’d like, but he has an innate ability when it comes to ranching.”

&n
bsp; “You can’t force me.”

  His eyes became as hard as stone, and for the first time in her life, she actually feared her father.

  “Rebecca, I have not acquired all that I have by being tenderhearted. I have overlooked a great deal of your transgressions, not saying no when I should have, letting you run free when I should have harnessed you. Believe me, daughter, if you think these past weeks have been miserable, embarrass me a week from Saturday and you’ll discover that there is indeed hell on earth.”

  “I don’t believe I’m hearing this from you.”

  “Believe it. I came here with nothing. More than this ranch, more than you, I value the respect the people in this area give me. I will not have it shattered because one night you decided to become a whore.”

  She blinked back her tears. “How can you hate me so much?”

  Anderson began eating. “I don’t hate you. I’m just deeply disappointed in you. Once you have fulfilled your obligations regarding this marriage, I’m sure everything will return to normal. You’ll wear your mother’s wedding dress.”

  “May I be excused?”

  Her father gave a curt nod and Rebecca left the table, willing herself not to run screaming out of the house.

  She found Jake in the barn, kneeling in a stall and cooing to a troubled mare. He was so intent on his task he didn’t hear her approach. She knew it was unfair but she clasped her hands together and pounded on his back, sending him sprawling over the mare, who protested by kicking him.

  “What the—” He scrambled up, holding his side, glaring at her. “What the hell did you do that for?”

  Her fists were rolled into tight balls, her chest was heaving, her eyes were ablaze with cerulean fire. “My father said your proposal was no such thing! It was a command! I have no choice but to marry you!”

  Jake released a weary sigh. “Well, he was wrong.” He dropped to his knees, his hands comforting the distressed animal. “The foal is breech. I gotta turn him. Will you hold the mare’s head?”

  Rebecca knelt down, laying the mare’s head on her lap, stroking her gently. “So I don’t have to marry you?”

  “Hell no. I wouldn’t marry a woman who didn’t want to marry me. He told me he wanted me to marry you and I said I’d ask. But that’s all. I’d ask. The final decision is yours.”

  She watched as he struggled to turn the foal. Would any other man have accepted an offer of John Anderson’s ranch and daughter only if she was willing? “He doesn’t know about your land in Texas, does he?”

  “No.” He continued working, the strain evident in his voice. “I didn’t tell him. I was afraid he might offer—” He shot her a quick glance, wishing he was better with words as she arched a brow.

  “Might offer me to someone else?”

  “Might tell someone else about your situation before I got a chance to ask.”

  Satisfied with his efforts, he began to caress the mare, his bloodied hands gentle on the great beast, his voice tender. “All right, girl.”

  The foal was born, struggling to stand. Rebecca watched Jake’s face fill with tenderness and awe in the miracle he’d just witnessed. He scooted back against the wall, watching the newborn creature.

  “Why?” Rebecca asked quietly. “Why did you ask me to marry you? You’ve offered me your name, a piece of your dreams. What do you get?”

  He had slept so little last night and the day had been long, filled with chores. Then the mare had gone into a difficult labor. How could he explain his reasons when he hadn’t thought about them yet himself? If not her love, what did he get? Her eyes were so blue and her ebony hair cascaded about her, creating the perfect frame for her face, so beautiful. His voice was low, his eyes warm.

  “It’s a rugged land, filled with the voices of men, the wild cries of animals. I’d have the soft, sweet music of a woman’s voice. When winter browns and deadens the earth, I’d only have to look across the room to see the beauty of spring. I’d have friendship in the place of loneliness. I’d have more than I ever hoped to have.”

  He wasn’t usually such a flowery speaker. But the words, like him, were honest and they touched her heart. If a woman couldn’t marry the man she loved, she should at least marry a man she liked. And Rebecca did like Jake. She enjoyed his company, the emotions reflected in his eyes, the gentleness he bestowed upon the animals. But to decide now …

  “Would you take a walk with me?” she asked.

  Offering her a small smile, he nodded.

  They strolled out of the barn and Jake detoured by the water pump to wash his hands. Then they continued on into the night, skirting around the buildings until they were walking along the dirt path that led to the house, a comfortable silence enveloping them. A warm breeze blew across the land. Rebecca reached back and grabbed her hair, draping it over one shoulder before slumping against one of the many trees that lined the path. “How did you come by your land in Texas?” she asked.

  Jake rubbed the side of his nose. “Man who raised me left it to me when he died.”

  “He must have thought a great deal of you to leave you something as precious as land.”

  He shook his head. “To tell you the truth, Reb, I don’t know why he left it to me. He had two sons. Seems like he should have left it to one of them.”

  She moved her hands behind her back and pressed against the tree. “So why are you here and not in Texas?”

  “Because the land is the only thing Thomas Truscott ever gave me. I started heading that way … then I realized I needed money.” He shrugged. “Your father was hiring.”

  Rebecca looked up into the black heavens, distant stars twinkling. If she were a little girl, she’d latch onto one of them and make a wish. But she wasn’t a little girl anymore. In Brett’s arms, she’d become a woman, and soon she’d become a mother. Her heart believed that Brett would return to take her as his wife, to be a father to her child, but her father’s words, his anger, and the endless days with no word from Brett had begun to plant seeds of doubt within her mind. During any other time in her life she would have listened to her heart. But now she had a life more precious than her own to consider.

  “Oh, Jake, I don’t know if Brett’s coming back,” she said in a hoarse whisper, fighting back the tears that accompanied the acknowledgment of her fears, angry at herself for being so weak. “He didn’t say he would. He just said he had some things he had to take care of.”

  Jake shoved his hands into his pockets, not certain what he’d do if those tears gathering in her eyes started rolling down her cheeks. “Maybe we could track him down.”

  She gave him a tremulous smile. “I thought about that, but I don’t even know in which direction he headed. And after two months, even the best trackers would have a hard time finding him.

  “I’ve made such a mess of things. A month ago, all I worried about was whether or not you’d find me a black stallion. And now … I’ve never had anyone as angry at me as my father is. It’s as though he hates me.” She released a ragged sigh. “Tonight was the first time in three weeks he’s spoken to me, and it was to tell me that if I didn’t marry you, he’d make my life hell.”

  Without thinking, he reached out, his knuckle catching the solitary tear as it began to trail down her cheek. “I swear if you married me, I’d do everything I could to make sure you never regretted it.”

  “And what about you? What if you regret it?”

  He gave her a small smile, shaking his head. “I won’t regret it.”

  She studied the rugged contours of Jake’s face limned by the light of a full moon. A lifetime. A lifetime with this man. To accept now that Brett wasn’t coming back or that if he did, it would be too late. To spend a lifetime gazing into velvet brown eyes instead of blue. To be greeted with a lopsided grin instead of a straight full smile. To live with a man willing to give so much and ask for so little. She swallowed her uncertainty, giving him a smile in its place.

  “I’d be honored to become your wife and go with you to
Texas.”

  “You sure?”

  “I’m sure,” she said without hesitation.

  He bestowed upon her his lopsided, endearing smile and extended his hand.

  She slipped her hand into his rough, callused one, a hand that gentled the horses, a hand that might bring her child into this world. Stretching up, she placed a brief kiss on his cheek. “Meet me in the morning where you found me today and we’ll work out the details.”

  Watching her stroll towards the house, Jake felt as though his heart would break out of his chest. That beautiful woman was going to be his wife.

  Hearing the retching sounds as he dismounted, Jake headed for the bush where Rebecca was standing, feet braced apart, her body bent over at the waist.

  “You all right?” he asked, concerned.

  “Will be—” She gestured him away as another wave of nausea broke through bringing up the remainder of her breakfast. Taking three great gulps of air, she stood up as a canteen of water was thrust in front of her. Smiling, she took the cool water into her mouth, swishing it around before spitting it out. Then she faced Jake, who had broken out in a light film of sweat watching her.

  “You should have left,” she said.

  “Did you do this yesterday?”

  She walked over to the tree and sat down. “And the day before that and the day before that.”

  Jake dropped down beside her. She looked at him with woeful eyes.

  “I don’t know how the human race continues. Having babies is no fun as far as I can tell. Growing up on a ranch, I’m used to birthing but I didn’t know about this. I’ve never seen a mare bring up her breakfast … or a dog … or a pig … or a chicken.”

  Jake started laughing and she hit him on the arm. “It’s not funny.”

  “I know.” He tried to stop laughing. “I’m real sorry you’re feeling poorly but … the world would be a mess if animals were throwing up all over the place.”

  “But it’s not fair!”

  “No, I reckon it’s not. Maybe it won’t last long.”